I am very hesitant to write this, but I feel like I need to put my feelings down somewhere and maybe,just maybe it will not only help me but help other missionary moms that feel the same way I do.
So, I guess I will start at the beginning. I have four children, three of them are boys. When my husband and I started dating I told him I wanted all girls, not exactly what I got. I remember very clearly sitting on the table as the ultrasound tech announced to us that we would be having a boy. The first thought that ran through my mind was, "I am going to have to send him on a mission one day." Most mothers probably dream about their sons playing sports with their husbands or them growing up to be doctors or the million other thoughts that should be running through your mind at that moment but all I could think about was that in 19 years I would have to send him far away from home to serve a mission for the LDS church.
Fast forward 20 years and here I am with not only one but TWO missionaries out at the same time.
To say that I am having a hard time with this is a huge understatement!
